A diminutive lawyer, appearing as a witness in one of the courts, was asked by the opposing attorney, who was a giant 6'8", what he did for a living. The witness replied that he was a lawyer.

"You? A lawyer?" said the huge attorney. "Why, I could put you in my pocket."

"Very likely you could," replied the other. "But if you did, you'd have more law in your pocket than you ever had in your head."

* * *

A lawyer discussing trial strategy with his partner said, "When I address the jury, I'll plead for clemency."

"Nothing doing!" shouted his partner. "Let Clemency get his own lawyer."

* * *

Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

* * *

A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totalled. "My BMW! my BMW!" he sobbed.

A good Sam
aritan drove by and cried out, "sir, sir, you're bleeding-my god, your left arm is gone!" The lawyer, horrified, screamed "my Rolex! my Rolex!"

* * *

A lawyer's job is secure-who would build a robot to do nothing?

[ <<Previous | INDEX | Next>> ]