A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.

Excited about his success, the attorney wired the firm, "Justice prevailed."

The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately."

* * *

Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.

* * *

When asked "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing."

* * *

"Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent."
--Oscar Wilde

* * *

"When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty;
When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;
When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice."
--Lin Yutang

* * *

"I was never ruined but twice-once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one."
--Voltaire

* * *

"Litigation is a machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage."
--Ambrose Bierce

* * *

"In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls."
--Lenny Bruce

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